When you arrive at Westwind Church one of the first things you will notice is our friendly greeters at the front doors. Their smile, greeting and handshake will make even the wariest of visitors feel welcome. But, according to research, the “first impressions” are not the most important ones.

We asked one more question in our study: “When did you conclude that the church was or wasn’t a friendly church?” The most frequent response surprised us. There is a 10-minute window in the 75 to 90 minutes most people spend in their first church visit, and that window is critical for the first impression of friendliness. When? It is the first 10 minutes following the service.

The rules are now off. The people are who they really are. And that’s when it really shows, our subjects said.

A few years ago, my family and I visited Cornerstone Bible Church in Glendora, Calif., while looking for a new church following our move. At the end of the service, the pastor said to the congregation: “Now, before we go, remember our three-minute rule here: No one can talk with a person they know for the first three minutes after the service. You can sit and meditate. You can leave silently. Or, you can talk with someone you don’t know.” Most chose the latter. I found it a “freeing” experience, which allowed me to turn to a stranger and start a conversation. Our “three-minute” conversation lasted 15 minutes. And guess who we looked for at that church when we returned for a second visit? –Charles Arn, Assimilation (It’s Not Rocket Science.)

According to this, it is more important that people visiting Westwind feel welcomed after the service instead of before. So, stick around and strike up a conversation with someone around you after the Celebration Service. You might just be the reason they make Westwind Church their worshipping community.